he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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