If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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