Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
