he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
