Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
