wake up i wanna do it froggy style
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize