My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Pooping to opera.
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