so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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