I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
