Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
