and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
