Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
