I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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