omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
