It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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