So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
do nipples grow back?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
