So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
