so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
