real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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