is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
