I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
