She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
