It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
