walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
