Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize