I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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