i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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