Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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