he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
