is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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