Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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