I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
