omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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