Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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