it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
