Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize