I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
His nipple licking is glorious
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