it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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