Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
