the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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