I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My bed smells like the plague
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
