Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
