You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
