you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
