was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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