That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize