Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
