I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
