I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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