Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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