im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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