You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
