Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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