Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
