brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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