I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
