Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just invented taco cereal.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
