Yo dont text me then not text me
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
