The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
