I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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