I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
