He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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