Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
