tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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